7 Reasons I Hate the Summer Solstice

Ahhh.. It’s that time of year again.  The dreaded Summer Solstice.  Why such a negative view of such a seemingly innocuous holiday?

1. It falls on a weekday: Not just any weekday; it’s on a TUESDAY, no less.  It’s hard to get in the holiday spirit when you don’t even get a day off to celebrate the solstice with style.  As a matter of fact, I probably won’t be able to enjoy any of the solstice as I’m scheduled to be at work from 6 a.m. to 9 p.m., effectively limited my exposure to the sun on the year’s longest to around zero.
2. There are no sales: Everyone talks about the solstice like it means something when in fact it can’t mean anything due to the lack of holiday sales.  I’m not a big shopper, but it would be nice to get a good discount on a new TV right about now.
3. It’s stifling hot all day: I don’t know if it’s a mind thing or what, but the summer solstice is always miserable hot.  Could it be that the sun is up for a few seconds longer than any other day in the year? Quite possibly.  Regardless of the cause, be prepared to shed about 10 pounds of fluids tomorrow.
4. It’s hard to pronounce: Yeah, maybe not to everyone, but I’ve noticed that people have a more difficult time with “s-o-l-s-t-i-c-e” then they should.  No ma’am, it’s not pronounced “soltice” or “selstus” (Yes, I’ve heard them both).
5. Who really cares: So the days a little longer, who cares?  There’s nothing to celebrate, no cause for a parade, and there are literally no movies centered around the activities held on the summer solstice.  I’m sorry, it’s just the truth.
6. There’s no mascot: Try to think of one holiday that is cool even without a figurehead.  You can’t, can you?  Every holiday worth talking about has at least one identifying man/woman/creature/color/plant/etc. EXCEPT for the summer solstice.  Who would be a t-shirt with a picture of the sun on it?  No one.
7. Finally, no one gives me gifts: Despite rules that I’ve tried to impose around the clinic, no one will supply me with gifts on the summer solstice.  All I ask for is something small and thoughtful; a fan that I can use on the year’s longest day, I visor I can use to shield my retinas from blinding sunlight.  It’s a no brainer, really.

That about sums up all of my beefs with the Summer Solstice.   Hopefully, you hate it just as much as I do now after realizing its fundamental flaws.

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Thanks for reading!

Rick

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